Dear Reconcilers,

This month’s letter is written by Willard High, Pastor Emeritus of The Shepherd’s Community Church in Harvey, Illinois. We hope you benefit from his sage advice and put these words into action.

The Power of a Good Example

Our world has changed dramatically since my graduation from high school in 1968. My mother passed away in 1963. If she were here today, she would be amazed by our advancements in technology. The cell phone would wow her with its ability to imitate newspapers, movie theaters, televisions, libraries, and computers. Her initial excitement would wane as the broadcast news reports would lead this kind, gentle and peace-loving lady to ask hard questions such as: “Why are people today so impatient and cruel? Why are so many of them killing their families, friends, random strangers, and children – especially their own?” She would bemoan the lack of common civility, and our failure to do unto others as we would have them do unto us – the values that she, my extended family and community were careful to try to instill in me as I grew up. She’d ask the obvious questions: “Were they not raised by parents who taught them how to act in the world? Wasn’t there a loving community around them to help steer them?” In other words, do modern folk have the simple but powerful influence of good examples, teaching and home-training?   

Parents are our first living examples and superheroes, and we humans are innate imitators. My mother’s values were rooted in Biblical examples and teachings. She led by example. When parents fail to spend their time lovingly and diligently teaching with discipline, each succeeding generation moves farther away from living a life based on good values. Those who follow are doomed to become progressively more confused and indifferent to basic morality and patterns of right behavior. When appropriate examples and teachings are introduced, there is at least a chance this trajectory can be changed; however, deterioration is worsened if parents, family, teachers, civic leaders and politicians, model and glorify bad behavior. Add to the prognosis, the Internet. My parents warned me not to hang around with the wrong crowd and not to keep company with thieves, murders, and lawless persons. Today, through the Internet, we and our children may spend an inordinate amount of time with the kind of despicable characters that would make my parents blush. Now the whole world is exposed to the same behaviors – good or bad.    

You may have good tapes playing in your mind, put there by moral and ethical influencers who have shaped the way you think. Your thought patterns drive your behavior. Not everyone has this advantage, so if you and I want to see better behavior in society, we have to model better behavior personally.  

Poor behavior unchallenged tends to outstrip good behavior because doing the right thing takes more energy, self-awareness, and effort. Leaders like Abraham Lincoln would encourage us to fight against those negative, harmful influences. He would gently insist that our task is set the proper example and act morally without rudeness or indifference. This is the road less traveled. If we fail to model positive behavior, how can we find fault with those who act out for lack of knowledge or manipulation? I have learned that people follow leaders whether they exemplify positive or negative behaviors. Remember, you are a leader to someone – someone in need of guidance is watching. Let us consciously choose to set a positive example.